Posts tagged "$Z.99"
  1. Notes: 506 / 2 months ago 

    Some wee stickers I had made to drop into orders from $Z.99 along with the usual fistful of live fire ants and bedbugs.  I even put one on my phone and now my phone’s more awful than before.

  2. Notes: 330 / 6 months ago 
    I guess the UPS guy got tired and figured delivering these to the old lady down the street was good enough, leading to several days of me wondering what the hell happened to my screen prints. This morning, after getting a message back from the printer confirming that the prints were sent off and should have been delivered last week, I remembered what I recalled as being, at the time it happened, a bizarre confrontation with the old lady down the street. I was hopping into my car with a friend when she comes up to me, shuffling over at me as fast as was physically possible for her (about the speed of the shadows moving across the ground as the sun makes its gentle arc across the sky).  She was yelling something about deliveries and heavy and something about me and who knows what else.  I was instantly afraid, and I looked to my friend for possible guidance, but he had already wet himself and entered the car, rocking back and forth, not making eye contact with me at all. I slammed into the lady with my shoulder.  Now, I’m not a big guy, and so I generally don’t think of any such actions on my part as being terribly threatening or dangerous, but when I made contact with that woman’s chest and shoulder, it…well…it was like running into a giant saltine cracker.   I didn’t have time to think about what I’d done, or if she really did taste like salt.  I got in the car and drove off to wherever it was we were going so innocently before all elderly hell broke loose. So this morning, that whole mess suddenly made sense, and I went to see if the old lady did indeed have my screen prints, which she DID!  Her granddaughter handed them to me and asked if I had seen what happened to her grandma and grandma’s in the hospital and oh everyone’s so broken up about it and if they catch the monster who blah blah blah. I thanked her and ran home to see just how the prints turned out and I gotta say, I’m pretty happy.  I’ll let you all know when they’re ready for poichase.

    I guess the UPS guy got tired and figured delivering these to the old lady down the street was good enough, leading to several days of me wondering what the hell happened to my screen prints.

    This morning, after getting a message back from the printer confirming that the prints were sent off and should have been delivered last week, I remembered what I recalled as being, at the time it happened, a bizarre confrontation with the old lady down the street.

    I was hopping into my car with a friend when she comes up to me, shuffling over at me as fast as was physically possible for her (about the speed of the shadows moving across the ground as the sun makes its gentle arc across the sky).  She was yelling something about deliveries and heavy and something about me and who knows what else.  I was instantly afraid, and I looked to my friend for possible guidance, but he had already wet himself and entered the car, rocking back and forth, not making eye contact with me at all.

    I slammed into the lady with my shoulder.  Now, I’m not a big guy, and so I generally don’t think of any such actions on my part as being terribly threatening or dangerous, but when I made contact with that woman’s chest and shoulder, it…well…it was like running into a giant saltine cracker.  

    I didn’t have time to think about what I’d done, or if she really did taste like salt.  I got in the car and drove off to wherever it was we were going so innocently before all elderly hell broke loose.

    So this morning, that whole mess suddenly made sense, and I went to see if the old lady did indeed have my screen prints, which she DID!  Her granddaughter handed them to me and asked if I had seen what happened to her grandma and grandma’s in the hospital and oh everyone’s so broken up about it and if they catch the monster who blah blah blah.

    I thanked her and ran home to see just how the prints turned out and I gotta say, I’m pretty happy.  I’ll let you all know when they’re ready for poichase.

     
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