8 posts tagged $Z.99
I got in over my head, guys. Christ, they’re gonna break my legs. MY LEGS! I just… I just don’t know when to quit. Dames and the horses, they all take me down the same road, and this time there ain’t no dame to blame, just me and my big fat mouth. “I’m good for it, Louie, let it ride, I got a bonus com in’ in and I’ll pay you back with interest!”
Now I’m in the shit and they’re coming for me!
What? No, this has nothing to do with what they’re gonna do to my legs, silly! Hah! That’s…no, it’s just a coincidence. It’s justOH BLOODY GOD THERE’S SOMEONE PARKED OUTSIDE AND…was just the mailman. No, it’s got nothing to do with OH GOD THERE’s…wait…just a bird chirping.
MANDATORY AFFECTION DAY SALE over at $Z.99! 10% off all orders when you use the code ‘LOVEISACLAMMYFOOT’.
New JTHM: Floor Damage Screen print variant this week! Creepachu price drop! Individual Creepachus ( Individuachu?) for sale! Read all about it over at Mindspill. Bring your friends (your attractive ones only).
So maybe two months ago I was sitting around with J.R. Goldberg, doing the usual thing you do when passing the time with friends, probably picking lice from her hair, when we started joking around doing drawings of Pikachus that had the opposite effect of what those cute, mindless things usually have on people. This all came shortly after we were doing Google searches for “molester glasses” in the way we’ve all done, so the Pikachu drawings took on some of that grotesque, ‘keep these things away from your loved ones’ kinda vibe.
Well, as usually happens with me, I didn’t leave bad enough alone and we ended up doing a screen print set we are calling ‘CREEPACHU!’, and the results…the results are just very creepachu.
The Creepachus will be sold together in a set of two prints for all three of you out there who like this kind of thing. They were printed up with way too much love and care by the fine printing artisans at Mama’s Sauce. They’ll be available on $Z.99 this month and I’ll let you know when they’re ready for eatin’. Until then just think about how jealous your friends will be when they see these on your walls and scream with what you can maybe interpret as excitement.
I fried this up last night with just some ingredients I had sitting around in the kitchen! Taking them with me to Comicon I am.
Some wee stickers I had made to drop into orders from $Z.99 along with the usual fistful of live fire ants and bedbugs. I even put one on my phone and now my phone’s more awful than before.
I guess the UPS guy got tired and figured delivering these to the old lady down the street was good enough, leading to several days of me wondering what the hell happened to my screen prints.
This morning, after getting a message back from the printer confirming that the prints were sent off and should have been delivered last week, I remembered what I recalled as being, at the time it happened, a bizarre confrontation with the old lady down the street.
I was hopping into my car with a friend when she comes up to me, shuffling over at me as fast as was physically possible for her (about the speed of the shadows moving across the ground as the sun makes its gentle arc across the sky). She was yelling something about deliveries and heavy and something about me and who knows what else. I was instantly afraid, and I looked to my friend for possible guidance, but he had already wet himself and entered the car, rocking back and forth, not making eye contact with me at all.
I slammed into the lady with my shoulder. Now, I’m not a big guy, and so I generally don’t think of any such actions on my part as being terribly threatening or dangerous, but when I made contact with that woman’s chest and shoulder, it…well…it was like running into a giant saltine cracker.
I didn’t have time to think about what I’d done, or if she really did taste like salt. I got in the car and drove off to wherever it was we were going so innocently before all elderly hell broke loose.
So this morning, that whole mess suddenly made sense, and I went to see if the old lady did indeed have my screen prints, which she DID! Her granddaughter handed them to me and asked if I had seen what happened to her grandma and grandma’s in the hospital and oh everyone’s so broken up about it and if they catch the monster who blah blah blah.
I thanked her and ran home to see just how the prints turned out and I gotta say, I’m pretty happy. I’ll let you all know when they’re ready for poichase.