Was talking with Rikki Simons earlier about Prometheus, the way everyone is talking with Rikki about Prometheus lately. SPOILERS are afoot in the section of the chat I’ve included here, so be warned. Gumbo spoilers.
9:51:07 PM Jhonen Vasquez: ”Boy, have you tasted these baby back ribs?” “BABIES? YOU KNOW I CAN’T HAVE BABIES! BOOHOHOOO!”
9:51:46 PM Jhonen Vasquez: no, this air was perfectly okay to breathe. They could tell just by looking with their scientist eyes.
9:51:57 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: That line about not being able to have babies just fell out of her. It looked like she didn’t even want to say it. Like she knew.
9:52:34 PM Jhonen Vasquez: Thing is, I don’t even really need for hardcore science, but the BEHAVIOR has to make sense on a relatable, human level.
9:52:51 PM Jhonen Vasquez: The behavior in the movie was all script, but had no basis in what people are actually like.
9:52:58 PM Jhonen Vasquez: That’s what kept killing me throughout.
9:53:05 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: I generally liked Elizabeth, but she had shitty, shitty taste in boyfriends.
9:53:09 PM Jhonen Vasquez: WHAT?? YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A SQUID MONSTER! Maybe tell someone??!
9:53:18 PM Jhonen Vasquez: anyone…?
9:53:55 PM Jhonen Vasquez: That scene is great, but it’s great as an isolated scene, not as a moment that makes sense or connects to ANYTHING else.
9:54:01 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: I was thinking there must have been a scene cut out where she’s explaining why she’s half dead with staples across her belly.
9:54:16 PM Jhonen Vasquez: When the crew goes out with Weyland, are they all just assuming he is a ghost?
9:54:28 PM Jhonen Vasquez: Nobody seems interested in him…being a ghost.
9:55:01 PM Jhonen Vasquez: the trouble with an extended cut is that the movie doesn’t need MORE things cleared up, it needs less things TO clear up.
9:55:20 PM Jhonen Vasquez: It’s not an intelligent movie that was chopped up.
9:55:35 PM Jhonen Vasquez: It’s a dumb movie that keeps telling you how deep it is.
9:55:44 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: If the extened version doesn’t make all the connections between missing convesations, then yeah, it should be 30 minutes less, not more.
9:56:03 PM Jhonen Vasquez: yeah. It’ll be interesting to see what’s in there!
9:56:38 PM Jhonen Vasquez: You know what I thought was the funniest stupid thing? The zombie guy that apparently walked like a crab all the way to the ship.
9:56:49 PM Jhonen Vasquez: Why did he walk like a crab and then just move like a person after that?
9:56:53 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: Yeah!
9:57:17 PM Jhonen Vasquez: He just waits there for who knows how long going “Man are they gonna freak when they see me looking like a crab.”
9:57:17 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: Ridley finally got that xenomorph crab walk in!
9:57:48 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: He fell face first into the crab DNA.
9:57:53 PM Jhonen Vasquez: I guess…
9:58:08 PM Jhonen Vasquez: So humans made xenos, but why was there a xeno mural in the ship?
9:58:36 PM Jhonen Vasquez: or pterodactyls, by the looks of the alien in that movie.
9:58:55 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: That’s the final product the Engineers are goung for? But they don’t know the right combo yet to get there?
9:59:45 PM Jhonen Vasquez: but the humans are 100% of the engineer dna. What’s so special about humans making that xeno?
9:59:56 PM Jhonen Vasquez: my god..I think it’s all bullshit!
10:00:26 PM Jhonen Vasquez: there was some stuff about the way the black goo interacts with humans being evil, I guess.
10:00:30 PM Jhonen Vasquez: So they say in interviews.
10:01:23 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: It’s like they have all these ingredients but they don’t know how to make gumbo. They know they want gumbo. But they keep shaking the ingredients bag. There it is, they bade a statue of gumbo and put it on the wall. They sure hope they can get gumbo. ::shakeshakeshake::
10:02:15 PM Jhonen Vasquez: That would have been a fine conversation in the movie.
10:02:20 PM Jhonen Vasquez: complete with gumbo analogy.
10:02:22 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: ha!
10:02:48 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: David explains it to everyone.
10:03:14 PM Jhonen Vasquez: The whole time he’s just sneering and hoping his analogy is stupid enough for that particular crew.
10:03:48 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: He has oven mitts on and is making gumbo, illustrating it for them.
10:04:09 PM Jhonen Vasquez: oh my god that’s already better than anything in the actual script.
10:04:21 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: One scientist pets the gumbo.
10:05:06 PM Jhonen Vasquez: Another one proclaims the gumbo to be breathable and dunks his head into the pot, promptly drowning and burning to death.
10:05:59 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: Weyland wakes up, takes a bowl of gumbo back to his chamber and no one ever says anything.
10:06:30 PM Jhonen Vasquez: It turns out this was the only way to get David to make his famous gumbo.
10:06:35 PM Jhonen Vasquez: Weyland is victorious.
10:07:23 PM Rosearik Rikki Simons: Roll credits.