A few days back a friend calls me up and says he’s getting off work and wanted to know if I was up for grabbing something to eat. It’s around 9 P.M. and yeah, I want something to eat so I tell him yeah, I want something to eat.
Maybe twenty minutes later he shows up and as I’m letting him in he says “There’s totally a guy getting a hand job right out front.”
“There’s a what getting a what what now?”
“He’s parked right out front and there’s a lady giving him a hand job. You can totally see it.”
I think a bit while putting on my jacket and decide we have to get Pho.
Walking out to the sidewalk, my friend tells me it’s the car right in front and sure enough, there’s a car and in it is a guy laying back and someone, some woman is giving him a hand job. We walk over to my friend’s car, not really sure what to think of it all.
This story has no ending, not in any real satisfying way. Maybe it did for the guy in the car, I’m not sure (we didn’t stick around to find out), but it got me thinking about how, of all the places you can go to get a hand job, you really have to REALLY need one if you’re okay with doing it on a fairly well lit street where people are walking around and pointing into your car and saying things like “Hey, there’s a guy getting a hand job.” or “Oh yeah you’re right, there is indeed a guy right there getting a hand job.” loud enough for you to hear it while getting a hand job in your car.
I can only assume they were doing it for amusement or thrills. My thinking there is that, if this was a client/prostitute situation, why pay for a hand job when you can have her dress up like a ninja and make kung fu noises as she gives you a blow job or whatever it is people do when they pay for that shit. I dunno. Either way, dark squalid alleys were made for a purpose, but they had to do it right out front where people are trying to figure out what to get for dinner? Fucking rude and poorly planned is what I think.